After experiencing the loss of my mother, a new responsibility arose this summer for me in Toronto. As the primary caregiver for my older brother, Stuart, I am challenged with creating a harmonious living arrangement for two neurodivergent siblings. Despite the difficulties, Stuart’s love for pistachio milkshakes, podcasts on violinists, and infectious laughter make him a delightful roommate.
Stuart, an autistic individual and a survivor of a left-brain stem stroke, requires assistance with daily activities such as feeding, transfers, bathing, grooming, and emotional support due to rapid mood changes triggered by loud noises. Reflecting on our childhood, I recall feeling embarrassed by Stuart’s introverted behaviors and self-stimulation, which were misunderstood by others. Despite our differences, I have learned to manage my ADHD tendencies by masking them, especially during interactions to maintain a peaceful environment for both of us.
Acknowledging the need for support, I have adjusted my lifestyle to accommodate Stuart’s needs, sacrificing personal pursuits like acting classes. By prioritizing our relationship and seeking assistance from caregivers, I strive to foster a supportive living environment for us as non-neurotypical siblings. Although I may not have been the ideal sibling in the past, I am determined to make the most of this second chance to provide the care and understanding that Stuart deserves.